Dear Genesis

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Photo of You

Dear Genesis,

I know its been a while since I’ve written. I’m still trying to process life without you here. It’s very quiet in our home. Yet, I never knew how loud silence could be until now. I think I am finally hearing sounds as you do. I am understanding how you hear them all at once and how overwhelming they can become.

As I sit quietly to breathe and contemplate, all I can hear is the roaring of the things around me. I hear the air conditioner as it hums, turning off and on. Simultaneously, I hear the light as it flickers and sparks. At the same time I can hear the sound of the birds chirping outside of the sunroom. It’s a song that reminds me of the summer that is drawing near. I can hear the water drip from the spout from the bathroom sink and the toilet running. Breaking past the front door, right to where I sit, I hear the laughter of the children running in the neighborhood.

I suddenly become aware of my breathing, and I take deeper longer breaths, I do that often now. It is as if my auditory system is scanning my environment in search of the sound of comfort.

The comfort that comes from hearing your piano chiming from your room. The comfort from the familiar sound of your voice echoing melodies. The sound you make when you walk into a room and announce your presence. The pitch of your laughter. The way your voice rises and falls when you call me “Mother”.

The sound of you.

I continue to sit in the loud silence and I take another breath. This time I then hear my heartbeat, and it echos so loudly it almost tunes out everything around me. Then, I am reminded of my own words to you.

You see you and I are connected by sound. I have always told you that the first sound you ever heard was the beating of my heart. Even before you spoke words, you knew the sound of my heart. You are the only other person in this world that knows what my heartbeat sounds like from the inside. For that very reason, I know you carry the sound of me with you.

I’ve often wondered about your beautiful gift to hear sound in a way that no one else can. How you are able to hear the most minut sounds and create music from them. It’s always been your super power. I also saw how too much sound overwhelmed you. Now I know that if silence is loud, adding the world to that equation, makes it must be so much louder.

So, as I sit here I begin to pray through that loud silence. I pray that the noise from the world quiets and that the sound of the Lord’s heartbeat fills us. So much so, that you and I overflow in praise and worship.

I pray that somewhere over the rainbow, you will remember the sound of my heartbeat and find comfort in knowing there is no place like home.

Love Mom

P.S. Love you forever Like your for always