I check our secret pillow-talk notebook where we would write to one another every-night. I check in hopes that you would write back. The pages where your response would be, I leave blank, but I still write, and hope.
It has 18 days since you left home, and it still feels like yesterday. At first my worry overtook me, and I was beside myself. I believe I am now going through the stages of grief. There have been days when I have been angry with you, with myself and then with God. I have spent so much time thinking of how or what I could have said to you. I am coming to terms with that the fact that there weren’t any words or actions to convince you otherwise. I am realizing this is part of your story and one day your testimony.
I don’t understand your hurt. Yet, I long to be the one to pick you up like I did when you were little. What I am realizing, is that although God gave you to me to protect and care for, it is now time to trust that God will do that. I may not understand your hurt but, He does.
I told you every night when I tucked you in that I loved you. For 18 days I have gone into your room and said the same thing in hopes that wherever you are you would feel my words.
You see I may not have always gotten it right over the years. I may not have always said the right thing or did the right thing, but one thing is true, I love you. I’ve done the best I knew how, and I pray that you will see that.
Right now wherever you are
If you are scared
even just confused
know that I still love you.
Maybe you think I’m angry with you. Maybe you think I won’t forgive you. I feel those things too. There is nothing you could do or say to make me love you less. There is nothing that love can’t fix. You see we know a savior that heals all things, that mends all things, that will full-fill his purpose in us. Let His spirit minister you. Remember you are my daughter, but you are also the daughter of a King in heaven. There is nothing He won’t do for you, for me and for us. I know right now He is protecting you and sustaining you.
I need to remind of something I’ve always told you………
I see how incredible you are. How capable you are. I see the amazingness in you. Often times you may have felt rejected by society because of your uniqueness but, Baby girl, it’s what makes your shine. Your light, the light that was gifted to you by the one who created you is breath taking. No one can take that from you because it was given by the one who made you.
I will be here waiting when you return.
And while I wait, I will write to you. So that when you return you will read these letters and understand my heart.
Ps. Love you Forever, Like you for always
1 thought on “Dear Genesis,”
Erica what you are doing here is so inspiring. Your words really touched my heart. I am so happy that you have decided to use the God given talent of writing to share your experience as a mother with others that may be going through the same thing. It brought tears to my heart as I learned more of what you’ve been going through. Continue the calling God is giving you. ❤ Mom!
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